- All my comments and the hosts' comments are not to be taken seriously.
- All characters appear in their
original uniforms, except for Scarlett,
who's wearing only a smile.... (Kidding) Now that you have that image in your
The tune for the second season opener
begins, we hear YO JOE!!
We see the planet earth, a blue dot comes from behind the left side, a red dot
from behind the right side, slowly getting closer and growing larger.
View shifts to the big Cobra head flying fortress
getting blown up.
- Fade to close-up of the cover of Special Missions 1
- Fade to 6 Skystriker flying towards the
camera, then going upward
- Fade to close-up of Cobra Commander getting shot in the back by Fred
- Fade to Capitol
Hill, in flames, with Serpentor changing into the Cobra symbol
from "arise, Serpentor, Arise"
2 dots grow larger, revealing them to be the GIJOE logo and the Cobra
symbol, they are getting closer together
View shifts to the frontpages of yojoe.com, the Bivouac, the MARS page, The
Eagles nest, Warflight's tips page, and
several others, appearing at one-second
- view of several collections, with rows after rows of figures,
and a wall covered
with MOC figures
- view of 4 USS Flagg's with Defiant shuttles on them
see the end of the cartoon opening titles, with a bunch of Joes on
several vehicles raising their fists in that familiar
manner, we fade back to planet
Earth where the Joe and Cobra logos come together, the red Cobra symbol
Below them fades in :
The First annual
Cause knowing is half the battle !
The symbols and title fade, we zoom in on earth, untill we get to an huge, fancy
building. At the doors, a Crimson Guard and a marine in dress uniform each open
one half of the doors. We enter a
giant room with a huge podium, on wich are two
illuminated flights of stairs, with above them a banner with the words
superimposed over the Joe and Cobra logos.
We get a shot of the audience, revealing
them to be an awfull lot of Joes, nameless
Cobra troops, several high-ranking Cobras, and a bunch of Joe fans....
ANNOUNCER : Ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages, welcome to the first
ever FLAGGS!! Celebrating almost two
decades of G.I.Joe : A Real American
Here is your host : Timmer !!
......... Alas, nothing happens,
the cameras pointing at the top of the stairs, reveal
nothing.... From the left of the stage, we see Warflight come out
a door, whistling,
and taking his seat in the audience.....
ANNOUNCER : Ladies and gentlemen, apparently, Timmer
has suffered a mild
case of..... *wispering* what? *loud again* food poisoning. *wispering again* at
it somewhat believable, fer crying out....
Backstage, we see Timmer lying tied down, with a gag in his mouth, near
ANNOUNCER : Fortunately, we've found a last-minute replacement host! Would
welcome..... COBRA COMMANDER !!!
Cobra Commander appears on top of the stairs, we hear murmuring from the
followed by applaus, nevertheless....
COBRA COMMANDER : Greetingssss , Ladiessss and gentlemen, my fellow
my worthy opponents, our loyal fansssss, and welcome to this special
event, where we honor all things that make Cobr...
err I mean G.I.Joe great! I have
prepared a few words for this occasion.....
*produced a large stack of papers*
When I first thought about starting a global terrorist organisation, I had to consider many factors, the first five.....
ANNOUNCER : Get on with it!
CC : Mother?
ANNOUNCER : No, I'm the guy that's suppose to announce people, and
sure things go SMOOTHLY......
CC : Oh, so now what do I do?
ANNOUNCER : Just use the papers they gave
CC : (shuffles papers) ah yessss..... Here is a list of all people who took part in the
FLAGGS voting this
year *under breath* I still say they should have been called the
CC : "...."
: Well ?
CC : I don't have that lisssst ! It's not here!!
ANNOUNCER : Oh for the love of..... Read the footnotes......
CC : Ah yes.... "point to big screen" it says.....
A huge video screen descents from above
: Good... and here are the people who participated in the voting!
John M (email@example.com )
Head (Corey Stinson) (ooookay...-ed)
G.I.Trekker (Thomas Wheeler)
(yes, I get to vote too -Editor)
CC : Wow, not bad for a first time! Now, let's get on with the show!
FROM THE AUDIENCE : Finally!
CC : *to somebody off stage* Get that guys ID! Anyway, here to present the
the CARTOON category : SPARKS and GREENSHIRT ! Greenshirt?
Cue music, the closing tune from
"The Revenge of Cobra". Sparks and a generic
looking Joe, with a green shirt and helmet each walk down their
SPARKS : Yaahooo ! Great to be here folks! It's been a long time !
Greenshirt just waves.
SPARKS : Come on, bud, you can talk too, can't ya?
GS : Yeah, but they generally don't let us say much....
: so what do you do?
GS : We generally just run around a lot, and hold mirrors that blow up...
SPARKS : That's though.....
GS : Yeah, I'm just glad I was on GIJOE and not "Star Trek". I have a cousin who
worked there, and he had
a LOT of horror stories....
SPARKS : Uhmmm OK.... what do you say we present the first award?
GS : Sure!
"If only there was an Oscar for this" award for best cartoon episode ever :
(Editor's note : first we see all
the nominees+votes before the winner)
1 vote - Eye for an Eye
1 - Jungle Trap
1 - Cobrathon
1 - The
1 - Gery Hairs and Growing Pains
2 - There's no place like Springfield, part 1
2 - Once upon a
2 - Sink the Montana
2- The Viper is coming
3 - Worlds Without End part 1
5 - MASS Device part
"The Viper is coming. Just a fun, memorable episode that stuck with me as a kid"
- Jason Dickson
"Once upon a Joe. You can't beat the funny versions of the Joes hitting the plane"
- Michael Senger
"Mass Device.... Gotta love Doc and the asbestos underwear."
- John Missal
( I guess I should
have been clearer on the form, best episode ever was for single
episodes only, not mini-series or two-parters, so those
weren't allowed. Several
people have send replies like this tough... So I had to make a decision, I couldn't
ignore all those votes, so when somebody voted for a mini-series or 2 parter
here, I picked part one of those as best
episode ever. - Editor)
SPARKS : YAHOOOO ! And the winner is : The MASS Device part one!!
GS : Yeah, guess
you can't beat the first, huh?
SPARKS : Hey, ya can't mess with a classic!
GS : Funny, I don't see any DiC episodes
up there AT ALL !
SPARKS : Well, there's probably a good reason for that.... Besides, THEY get to
shine right now!
The "Best of the Worst" award for best DiC episode ever :
1 - Victory at Volcania
1 - The
1 - Cobras in Jail (??? what's the ep called? -ed)
1 - Mercer, with Slice, Vs. Metalhead (again, HELP!
5 - Operation Dragonfire, part 1
"I don't think there WAS a "best ep" of the DiC....
but if I HAD to choose, I'd still
have to say it was a MASK ep, or something....."
-Warflight (missing the
point here -ed)
(I had quite a few of these answers, don't count though -ed)
SPARKS : YAHOOO ! Another landslide victory ! And again, the first miniseries